Mama's got a rollin' stone...

Er... well, a kidney stone, that is.

I was always under the impression that kidney stones were exclusively for overweight, middle-aged men who slathered everything with ketchup and extra salt. I assumed wrong... and yes, to assume makes an ass of "u" and "me".

Spoiler alert!... I shall be giving out a little too much information, but it's for your own good.

The pain started in the morning when I got out of bed... at that time it felt no worse than the usual monthly occurrence, i.e. ovulating.... For those of you who have never had the pleasure, imagine someone jutting a thick knitting needle in your lower abdomen and twisting it 'round.

The dull, intense pain got increasingly worse throughout the day, and it was when my daughter and I were on our way home from Wal-Mart that I made the executive decision to stop at the emergency room. At the very least, I thought, they would tell me I was out of my mind and to go home and quit being such a pussy. Don't ask me why, but I kept imagining the scene from "Alien" where the ugly creature tears his way through a crewmember's chest from the inside out ...

 .... mine would be the more comical version from "Spaceballs", more likely...



An EKG, CT scan and some very nice painkillers later, I was told I had a 2.5mm kidney stone, and it would soon pass. Well, at least it's not a tap dancing extra terrestrial.

So... some vicodin and phenergan later, I went online to discover exactly how this little bugger found his way into my urinary tract, and how to keep more of the foul beasts from forming. I don't take any medications on a regular basis, so that's out... I don't drink alcohol... and I am very careful of my salt intake. That leaves caffeine, unfiltered tap water, and dark leafy greens. With all the hot weather lately, I've been drinking a lot of iced tea with water from the tap, and I'm a spinach junkie. I could eat spinach all day... and I always thought it was a good habit. Who knew?

Well, the stone has passed with the assistance of some lovely percosets (oxycodone), and now I have a bunch of new no-no's for my diet list. Blah.

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