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Showing posts from June, 2010

The Buginator : Part 3 - Samurai Swatter

Well, our dear friend the stag beetle perished by the time my Mom and Dad stopped in after church. I think he had a heart attack... At the very least, covered in varnish ala Sixyearoldboy he is well preserved and Mom decided to take him with her to school to show her students. Won't they be thrilled :) Anyway, I'm sitting here at my computer (of course) with the back door open to let some cool air in when lo and behold! I am visited by a dobsonfly ! !!! I kid you not. The sucker landed right on my computer screen and I feel very lucky to not need a change of shorts. Screw the varnish I'm bringing out the big guns... my Familydollarsuperspeedflyswatter 2000 - the orange one. Whackwhackwhackwhackwhack ! The Vorpal blade went snicker - snack! I think Entomologists everywhere have felt a disturbance in the force.... Bugs BEWARE! fear me....

Shiny bug ... UPDATE!!

.... a continuation of "Pew, what stinks"? that I wrote less than an hour ago. I have found our culprit! I was mistaken in thinking the bug that Sixyearoldboy described to me was a dobsonfly , when IN FACT it was a stag beetle. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucanus_cervus ) A GINORMOUS stag beetle. (Don't adjust your monitors, I admitted I was wrong .. .you're not seeing things) As any writer should do, I print a hard copy of everything I write, including this blog ... it's very anal, I know, but I can't help it. So, I printed and hole punched and reached for my little red blog folder ... lo and behold, there he was.....lurking..... and shiny..... and still alive . I ran to the kitchen , grabbed some gladware and captured the beast! I am Woman! But, I didn't roar, so to speak .. it was more of like " ack eww eww omygodomygod eww eww ewwwwww ". I am brave .... sorta. It's sitting in the plastic container on my front porch right now .....

Pew, what stinks?

Noses are a wonderful thing (most of the time) ... They come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, and are - in my opinion- the crowning jewel of the face. Imagine Gerard Depardieu without that magnificent monument we've all come to know and love... Our noses, when in good working order, do lots of things to help us through daily life ... For example, babies use smell to help them identify mama, and with our noses we can better taste our food (good or bad), and they alert us to things out of the ordinary, such as smoke or chemicals or dog farts. It was my nose that woke me this morning. I can't remember specifically what my dream was about, but it involved something industrial, and I'm told that the "real world" often influences dreams and other aspects of the subconscious mind. So, my nose did the math for me ... The real world minus my dream equals a strong odor of ... chemicals? *sniff* ... markers? *sniff* ... no... *sniff* ... paint? ... close enough. B...

Arooooooo.....

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Inga : Werewolf! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Werewolf? Igor : There. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : What? Igor : There, wolf. There, castle. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Why are you talking that way? Igor : I thought you wanted to. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : No, I don't want to. Igor : [shrugs] Suit yourself. I'm easy. (a snippet from Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein" via IMDb.com) I was once asked, if I could have any superpower what would it be? I definitely wouldn't mind being invisible from time to time - a great way to see what the children think they can get away with. But, flying would be fantastic, as would having super strength or agility. My answer, consequently, was shapeshifting. I think this is an ability that surely encompasses, if not surpasses, other super-human feats. I certainly would perma-shift into a better body at the very least. (This was also the deciding factor of choosing a Night Elf Druid on World of Warcraft. Spell...

Bite me...

On the eve of the premier of the third season of True Blood (a show to which I have become hopelessly addicted) I ponder... What's with the fad wave of blood-suckers, beasties and things that go "bump" in the night? According to The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures (a book that should be on everyone's shelf) the vamp craze took a strong hold sometime in the late 1700's - about a hundred years before Mr. Stoker's story about a certain child-of-the-night hit the market. And, shapeshifters and werewolves and other half-creatures have been around pretty much since the dawn of man. So, here we are in the wee morning hours of the 21st century, still enamored by the appeal of beings that are positively extraordinary. Well, at least, that's how some see it. I feel, though, that the situation needs, nay - deserves - a bit more insight and scrutiny. Keep in mind, dear reader, that this is my own observation and my own opinion of the subject matter, and I im...