Things are about to get personal...
Some may already be aware of my current situation, and normally I wouldn't divulge such sensitive information because it concerns the privacy of others, but I think it's time to just let the other shoe drop...
My husband and I are splitting up.
There. I said it. After almost fifteen years of marriage, we are calling it "quits". Now, I could go about picking the man apart, finding fault and start man bashing, but I really don't feel like that would get me anywhere.... in fact, it would just make me look like an ass. He and I are trying to make the best of things, especially concerning the children - my first priority is their safety and well-being. Of course, you wouldn't think that to hear the teenager tell it, but she's at that delicate point in her life where just about anything rubs her the wrong way. I suppose she'll understand once she gets older... at least, I hope she does.
I'm not sure exactly how I'm supposed to feel about this... on the one hand, I'm very sad about this chapter of my life coming to an end. He and I are still friends (thus far) and I love his family as though they are still mine. ( I suppose we are all still technically related through our children) On the other hand, we were married very young - right out of high school. We didn't have a whole lot of time to discover our grown-up personalities before we became parents, and I think that development over the years produced two people who, if we met for the first time today, would never even consider marriage. Don't get me wrong, I think everything that has happened in my life has contributed to the person I've become - and, I like myself. I do not, for one split second, regret having my children ever. I cannot imagine my life without them in it. And, now is the time where I become the she-tiger protecting her cubs, and move them back to my den.
The kids and I will be packing up and heading back to the house in Virginia in the next month... and everyone knows how much I love moving.... not. It's not the actual movement that bugs me, but the packing and unpacking of my belongings that's irritating. Sure, this is a great opportunity to "downsize" a bit; to go through everything and decide it's fate - the "keeps", "throw aways" and "donations" - but I dread having to dust everything off, wrap it in newspaper, stuff it in a box, then put the process into reverse some 350 miles away.
Some things will be staying here for him... but, I'm taking the antiques with me. They're mine. Mine. The cats are going with me, as well as the Tipper dog ... Dexter will be staying here... he is, after all, my husband's dog. I'll miss the old fart. We are also bringing the fish with us, which will be ... interesting. The teenager and I are going up a couple weeks before the move to set up an aquarium in VA, so a new (larger) home will be ready for them to move right in... I know, they're just fish, but they're family, too.
I'll also have to find a paying job when we get there... yeah, that'll be fun. Blah. In the last decade and a half my main focus has been on my kids, but that isn't exactly going to pay the bills. Yep. I'm going to have to find a paying occupation (insert dirty joke here). Seriously, though, I'm not sure what kind of job I can find... I've had some college courses, but never finished a degree - so, really I'm just a glorified high-school graduate. My last "real" job was working at a photo lab in the Mart of Walls, which I really liked - my superior was superawesome, and I got to do work that was somewhat artsy fartsy. I, unfortunately, had to leave that job because of a high-risk pregnancy ... lab chemicals and fetuses don't mix. That child is now elevenyearoldboy. The reason I didn't go back to work after I had him was mainly because of the cost of daycare vs. bring-home pay. I would have been working forty hours a week to pay the babysitter.
Now that the kids are in school on weekdays, I suppose the cost of child care won't make too much of a dent. We shall see. I'll keep you posted, best beloved :)
My husband and I are splitting up.
There. I said it. After almost fifteen years of marriage, we are calling it "quits". Now, I could go about picking the man apart, finding fault and start man bashing, but I really don't feel like that would get me anywhere.... in fact, it would just make me look like an ass. He and I are trying to make the best of things, especially concerning the children - my first priority is their safety and well-being. Of course, you wouldn't think that to hear the teenager tell it, but she's at that delicate point in her life where just about anything rubs her the wrong way. I suppose she'll understand once she gets older... at least, I hope she does.
I'm not sure exactly how I'm supposed to feel about this... on the one hand, I'm very sad about this chapter of my life coming to an end. He and I are still friends (thus far) and I love his family as though they are still mine. ( I suppose we are all still technically related through our children) On the other hand, we were married very young - right out of high school. We didn't have a whole lot of time to discover our grown-up personalities before we became parents, and I think that development over the years produced two people who, if we met for the first time today, would never even consider marriage. Don't get me wrong, I think everything that has happened in my life has contributed to the person I've become - and, I like myself. I do not, for one split second, regret having my children ever. I cannot imagine my life without them in it. And, now is the time where I become the she-tiger protecting her cubs, and move them back to my den.
The kids and I will be packing up and heading back to the house in Virginia in the next month... and everyone knows how much I love moving.... not. It's not the actual movement that bugs me, but the packing and unpacking of my belongings that's irritating. Sure, this is a great opportunity to "downsize" a bit; to go through everything and decide it's fate - the "keeps", "throw aways" and "donations" - but I dread having to dust everything off, wrap it in newspaper, stuff it in a box, then put the process into reverse some 350 miles away.
Some things will be staying here for him... but, I'm taking the antiques with me. They're mine. Mine. The cats are going with me, as well as the Tipper dog ... Dexter will be staying here... he is, after all, my husband's dog. I'll miss the old fart. We are also bringing the fish with us, which will be ... interesting. The teenager and I are going up a couple weeks before the move to set up an aquarium in VA, so a new (larger) home will be ready for them to move right in... I know, they're just fish, but they're family, too.
I'll also have to find a paying job when we get there... yeah, that'll be fun. Blah. In the last decade and a half my main focus has been on my kids, but that isn't exactly going to pay the bills. Yep. I'm going to have to find a paying occupation (insert dirty joke here). Seriously, though, I'm not sure what kind of job I can find... I've had some college courses, but never finished a degree - so, really I'm just a glorified high-school graduate. My last "real" job was working at a photo lab in the Mart of Walls, which I really liked - my superior was superawesome, and I got to do work that was somewhat artsy fartsy. I, unfortunately, had to leave that job because of a high-risk pregnancy ... lab chemicals and fetuses don't mix. That child is now elevenyearoldboy. The reason I didn't go back to work after I had him was mainly because of the cost of daycare vs. bring-home pay. I would have been working forty hours a week to pay the babysitter.
Now that the kids are in school on weekdays, I suppose the cost of child care won't make too much of a dent. We shall see. I'll keep you posted, best beloved :)
Sounds like so many changes in such a short period of time. I know this must be hard for you but I know that if you keep taking steps forward things will turn out good for you guys. Best of luck.
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